Do you wish to be the next happy haunt, mortal?

I once played a game of mind play with our Ghostly Host  in the early stages of  our residence of the mansion.  As soon as I could look him in the face without  making dismayed noises, reminiscent to a whale being harpooned, at the memory of the incident where I fell in his lap after saying a whole 2 words to him, I figured it was a good time to  test the waters regarding him and his sense of humour. One day we were chatting about menial things  when I lied that I had a serious phobia of skeletons. As a ghost this is preposterous. You get used to things such as rotting flesh„ bones and flies very quickly.  In order to make this realistic, I had to put my acting ability to the test.  When we passed through the stretching room, I purposefully glanced up at his remains. Letting out a high pitched wail, I ran away, erratically flailing my arms. The poor man looked so concerned .  

Now pretending you are scared of skeletons in a house of dead bodies is tricky, believe me. Half our residents are at least partially skeletal so I had a hard time keeping this up. I never flailed my arms around with such force as I did during that time. Somehow I managed to keep up this crazy façade for 3 months before I came clean and admitted to being a bit of a  nutcase. I’m not sure if Hosty thought of me after that. He looked really bewildered when I admitted lying. He eventually seemed to embrace my insanity and added his own craziness to the mix, thus starting a beautiful friendship. 

Ezra is great fun. I like his tallness since it makes me feel secure and safe. Out of all three of them, he is the one I speak to the most. Though he can be a little quiet at times, he does have the incredible ability of being able to make it seem like he’s speaking 20 words  a second when you get him chatting about something he enjoys. H=Like the others, he is awfully stubborn though.

Gus is a strange one. As a convicted criminal, I was initially quite cautious of him. When you were brought up in wealth like I was it was common sense to steer clear of any ruffians or people of a lower class who would steal your jewelry and money at the first chance the had. (Of course, I little common sense so hung out with such ruffians in the taverns with my working class friend.) Once I got to know the little dwarf, i realized that he means no harm. he only stands up to my ribs anyway in terms of height so he isn’t much of a threat! He can be quite hostile at times though so I do tend to lose my temper most with him. He often runs away with mortals so I am always dragging him back home by his beard, often muttering unpleasant things under my breath. He is a breath of fresh air though and always knows what to say to cheer us up, even if his ball and chain make a horrendous screeching sound against the floor. 

Phineas is hilarious. He is naturally very funny. His little anecdotes never fail to make me smile and I could sit for hours listening to him. He odes have a big crush on Madame Leota and was infatuated with Lillian at one point too. His fondness for Auntie meant that he once tried to et her to  go out haunting with him, Gus and Ezra by kidnapping her in his bag. This meant they we did get off on the wrong foot initially since anybody who steal my family members isn’t my first choice of a friend.

Of course the HHG are best when in a trio. That thrilling threesome were born (and killed too I suppose) to be together. They are such a handful with their crazy antics that they are occasionally almost too much for me to cope with. I’m often am rounding them all up and bringing them all home after a night of haunting a mortal the have chosen to follow home. 

I have varying degrees of disdain for everyone, living and dead, so chances are not completely. I truly adore my ghostly 998 strong family and love all our foolish mortal visitors also this is a silly question!

Besides I’m hear to entertain you guys not to fall in love with you. I provide all the affection, attention and conversation you needy bunch mortals desire because that is my job and I love making you happy. It makes me feel fulfilled and worthwhile. The same goes for Ghost Host. As your charming Host and Hostess, we are here to entertain and please you, that’s what our role involves. 

((After getting a worse exam grade in my best subject than I thought I would, i was really down and miserable yesterday. Thank you so much for this! It’s you guys, the Hunted mansion and ‘Tess that kept me relatively content in the past 12 hours. I love you all, whether you interact with me or just follow me <3)) 

:’D I don’t know who you are but I love you nonetheless!

A: Who was the last person to piss you off? What did they do?

That would be Constance. Since the final arrangements and finishing touches are being added to the Haunted Mansion holiday at this time, it is safe to assume that both I and G.H are a little stressy at times. We put as lot of time and effort into this so any extra hassles we receive are just extra burdens for us.

Constance has been quite the burden by being overly difficult. Just because all her clutter assortment of wedding gifts are up in the attic, it doesn’t make it hers by default. When I asked her to clear it up a little bit and make space for our Nightmare Before Christmas companion’s and their luggage, she threw a giant hissy fit. 

J: If you sold your soul, what would it be for?

As a ghost I think I am pretty much made up of soul and ectoplasm. If I sold that, I think I’d just disappear!

Assuming that I wouldn’t cease to exist, I would do a do a Dorian Gray and sell my soul to stay eternally beautiful and youthful. However death already has taken care off that one for me. In a way, committing suicide was sort of me selling my soul and being forced to remain here on this earth as a sketchy memory of the past.

V: Do you ever want children?

I never fancied the idea of becoming the typical woman of my time and doing the whole marriage and babies thing. It seemed too…..restricting. As i wanted to be a bit of a free spirit and act upon my own desires, I didn’t want children during life. In my 100+ years of afterlife, I have softened to the idea though. As frustratingly stubborn as they are, I have watched delighted children burst into the Haunted Mansion for 43 years now. The look of glee on their little features is just precious!

As a deceased females, I am infertile. Since ghosts are unable to reproduce, I cannot reproduce now even if I wanted to embrace motherhood

O-o What?

*blushes profusely*

What a strange question. You Tumblr people are strange. I like your directness though.  

To answer your question, I think, ummmm…..

I imagine it would be easy to just grab the end of his noose and pull him close to you, pressing  his lips to yours. The whole world would be unimportant in that moment as metaphorical fireworks ignite and exlode. As he is so gentle in demeanour, I imagine he is a gentle kisser too. Not that I  can speak  from sober experience of course. Eheheheh  *Awkward laugh* 

I’m not blushing, it’s …….it is just really hot in here with all the candles and lights!! It makes it sound like I have given this some thought now doesn’t it?  Knowing my luck Ghost Host is going to comment something on this to heighten my awkwardness.  Oh Tumblr!! 

1. As a rule I like brown eyes. Those deep, dark pools of the human soul always do it for me. However I really like green eyes. I find them to be beautiful and so unusual. If a man had green eyes, I’ll be up the aisle in no time. Those gleaming emerald eyes just make me swoon. Of course nothing beats somebody with hetrochromia in the unique stakes! 

19. The most delicious food I ever ate was a a Victoria sponge with fresh strawberries.  It was a late spring/early summers day and me and my grandmother on my mother’s side went to the park. I was about 17 at the time. My grandmammy baked the sponge herself (with the help of her servant of course) and had grown the strawberries on her estate. We sat in the sunshine and ate her sweet delights as afternoon tea. The cake and strawberries were incredible.

The cream in the sponge was so fresh and was like heaven to the taste buds while the strawberries were the perfect mix of sweetness and being a little bitter. With the picnic, sunshine and my large summer hat adorned with flowers, it was the picture of a typical outdoor teaparty. 

42. As I grew up in a rich family swearing was not advisable at all, especially in front of your well-to-do parents. No, as a upper-class lady I was expected to behave as one and that meant refraining from such vulgar language and keeping the elegance of a dragonfly at all times, physically and personality-wise. To behave in another way was to behave like the common section of town. 

Of course, I spent a lot of time in the more common areas with my friend Florence so their habits soon spread to me. I could drink anyone under the table and would swear if I felt it was necessary and nobody from my class was nearby. These habits have only been further exercised when visiting the pirates of the Carribean. I don’t tend to do it very much since I have a rather relaxed temperament and it takes a lot of flash photography or spitting on the part of a foolish mortal to rile me up enough to swear or act on my frustration. 

50. Only 5? Okie dokie, here I go!

1. I feel the first awesome fact about me has to be the obvious fact that I am a deceased ghost who is hostess of a haunted mansion that doubles as one of Disney’s most loved and remembered attractions. How many people can say that after all?

2. I can speak a little bit of German. Guten tag. Ich heisse ‘Tess. Ich liebe mein pferd Orchid. Er ist sehr gross. Ghost Host ist sehr lustig aber manchmal launisch.

3. The outro spiel I say was actually something I made up on the spot one day. It was supposed to be longer and more wordy like Ghost Host’s intro. However that first day the hitchhiking Ghosts decided to make a bid for freedom meaning it was up to me to head them off and restrain them. After all that drama I had forgotten my words and made up something using whatever puns came into my head first. It was very well received and is the same thing you know and love today. You could say I am a genius! 

4. Despite the strict regime my parents had and the moral outcry from society, I managed to live all 26 years of my life without giving in and rejecting my strong will in favour of accepting “my role to be a good wife and mother to a rich man”. When not having a mental episode, I was standing up for myself and living the outdoor life I wanted to live. I feel like that was an accomplishment for me. 

3. Despite never being in love, I have had a brief passionate moment with somebody of both genders.

2. I have a highscore on all the Mario kart games. I am the undefeated lord and master (or should that be lady and Mistress) of the Mushroom Kingdom. Ghost Hostess, Queen of the Koopas, ruler of Rainbow road! I can and will proceed to destroy anybody who tries to beat me and take my crown. You have been warned. 

1. I seem to have developed an ability to understand the language of Turkeys. My fondness for the feathered creatures came after I rescued one from a thanksgiving dinner being prepared by the pirates. Naming him Arnold and letting him roam the mansion graveyard, I realised that, unlike the other ghosts, I could understand what he was saying. Whether this is a gift or a curse is unknown. 

One of my favourite songs is Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawk. The lyrics are so soft, so tender, to me it is like poetry in song! The lyrics are so beautiful and I deeply hope to my find someone I can long for as much as she does in this song. Of course, my soulmate won’t be able to leave me by dying! 

Being Ghost Host(tess) of the mansion is an interesting job and is one we both enjoy. We may be light-hearted ghosts who enjoy causing mischief and chaos, often at the expense of each other or anyone else in the vicinity, but we do take our role seriously

We are basically the majordomo of the mansion. As highest people of the “staff” (in this case all the other ghosts), we act on Dorian’s behalf when he is busy.

This mainly involves caring for you mortals and ensuring no harm comes to you during your brief stay. As we share position one of us takes the entrance and the other the exit. You may think you are alone but we are always watching you and our housemates to ensure nothing bad happens. While you are in the mansion, Ghost Host has his eye (well the non-damaged anyway) on you and while you are in the grounds or graveyard I am observing silently. If you were in the slightest danger, we would be in there to help. 

I guess the easiest way to think of it is that we are basically the Lord and Lady of the Haunted Mansion when Master Gracey is absent (or crying in his room because he has gained a wrinkle or a guy has turned him down and refuses to exit)